


Even With Your Doubts

by limitlist



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hidden Relationship, JARVIS is trying to be helpful, Loki Gets a Hug, Loki Needs a Hug, M/M, Self-Doubt, there’s a lot of doubt here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 19:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12848286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limitlist/pseuds/limitlist
Summary: Words are nothing if your actions don’t back them up. Loki values this thought very highly.(aka 5 times Tony mentions love and 1 time Loki makes him prove it)





	Even With Your Doubts

**Author's Note:**

> title as well as the titles of both chapters are from Who Knows Who Cares by Local Natives. i continue to put off my other project for these lil fics, you’ll get something big eventually

Years could slip by while Loki rested with Tony Stark. Wars could be fought and won, civilizations could rise and fall, but neither one would notice a thing. All they would notice would be the rise and fall of each other’s chest, content smiles exchanged as they basked in the glory of each other’s presence. All they would feel would be pleasure and peace.

Then the thrice-damned alarm went off.

“Jarvis, we’ve discussed this. No alarm on Saturdays, Saturdays are special,” Tony groaned out from where his face rested on Loki’s naked shoulder. To Loki, he mumbled, “Sorry love, it’ll only be a minute.”

“Sir, my apologies, it seems that a certain green fellow is rampaging through the tower. I thought you might appreciate the warning before Dr. Banner comes barreling through the door, quite possibly destroying it in the process.” All this gained from Tony was a groan. “Would it speed you and Mr. Liesmith along if I mentioned Mr. Barton is on his way here to gain your attention?”

At this, Loki vanished himself from the bed and reappeared near the door, fully clothed. “You should help your teammates, Anthony.”

Before Tony could get out a sentence, Loki disappeared.

—

The electric clock flickered from 4:00 am to 4:01. The two partners had felt comfortable enough that no emergency would occur to sit in the kitchen drinking hot chocolate as they discussed methods of combining magic and science.

“It might be possible, if you can figure out a way to stop your televisions from going black and white whenever I so much as spark in the general vicinity.”

“Maybe, but I don’t even get why that happens, babe.”

“You are smart. You will get there.” Pause. “We have discussed this pet name.”

Another pause. “But you told me I couldn’t call you Prancer!”

“Yes, well, as I said. You are smart. Maybe one day you will figure out a nickname that does not make me want to throttle you.”

“Mmm, you know I love it when you get aggressive, sweetcheeks.”

“No, I do not believe I approve of that one either.”

Banter kept going until Jarvis chimed in. “Sirs, as it approaches 6:30, Mr. Rogers will soon join you for his coffee. I might suggest—,”

Tony was quick to cut his AI off with a sigh. “Thanks, Jarvis.” He turned to Loki, but the god had already gone.

—

“Are you hurt? Of course you are hurt, you have blood all over you. Where are you injured? How long has it been bleeding? Tony, I swear if they have injured you beyond your usual battle fare—,” Loki’s worried rambling was cut off by a quick kiss.

“Loki, I’m fine. Not my blood.” The muttered threats continued until Loki had established Tony was indeed okay.

The god sighed in relief before collapsing into a hug. “I hate your job,” he whispered.

With the intensity in battles increasing quickly, the team had little time in between each confrontation to heal and regroup. Though it was not yet to the point where they had no time for sleep, Tony barely ever slept anyway. “You love me though, right?” His only response was a hum, which Tony brushes off casually. “Look, I don’t like it any more than you do, but it’s not a job I can call in sick for. They need me, kinda, and I kinda need them right back.”

Loki buried his head farther into Tony’s neck. “That does not require me to like it.”

“Sir, Mr. Barton is on his way to fetch you for debriefing.”

The warning made a shudder go through Loki’s spine before he straightened himself and stepped back. “Thank you, Jarvis. Make sure our favorite self-destructive genius sleeps.”

With a bitter smile, Loki vanished. Tony had the faint thought that he was missing something.

—

It was entirely too light outside to be having any sort of personal confession time. And yet, Loki found he couldn’t quite control what he was saying anymore.

Stories tumbled out, one after the other. It had started in a disagreement about Loki’s status as a monster, something he had eventually accepted. Tony, however, refused to accept such a statement.

From childhood to the long expanses of a Midgardian teenager equivalent, into the couple hundred years he had experienced as a young adult, the god of chaos had tales a plenty to tell. Each shortcoming, each comparison to the other Æsir, each mishap caused within any sort of closeness to him, Loki was blamed and ridiculed time and time again. Over time, it had turned to bitterness, which developed into anger. Through the disaster that had caused, he met Tony. That was that.

What had started as an emotionless retelling of why exactly he was a monster, however, had devolved against his will into sitting on the floor and blinking back tears continually. Once he found he couldn’t hold them back, he tried to keep them from interfering with his explanations. Loki kept talking despite the cracks in his voice, the tears on his face, barely stopping for air.

If he stopped, he wouldn’t restart.

Finally, after hours of talking, Tony reached out.

Tony reached out to his partner’s hand, reached out with his words and gestures, reached out with compassion and tales of his own, held on where Loki expected nothing but disgust and repulsion. He guided Loki’s head into his lap, content to babble and talk about nothing while playing with Loki’s hair.

After a brief pause, Tony chuckled to himself. “I dunno if you’ve noticed, but I love your voice. The things you told me… Loki, thank you for trusting me. Thank you for believing I would stay. The things you told me were awful, but hearing you say them was worse.”

To the mortal, these words were nothing but a couple sentences in hours of talking to an unresponsive partner. To Loki, they were filed away with growing dread.

—

Over time, Loki learned what to do in the face of one of Tony’s episodes of anxiety or mood swings. He learned how to help his partner, where to take him if he happened to be in public, when to interfere if he wanted to be alone. However, Loki never knew what to do in the uncomfortable moments after he calmed down.

It was during these moments one day that Tony took Loki’s hand, contenting himself with enough touch to comfort but not enough to annoy.

Immediately, Loki’s eyes snapped up to the hand from his book. Tony, having seen his reaction, couldn’t stop the snort of laughter that came from his partner’s surprise. This only made the god curl in on himself, wary of Tony’s reaction but unwilling to move his hand away.

“Hey, no, I just love the facial expressions you make when I startle you.” The mortal grinned and drew Loki’s hand up to his lips.

Unfortunately, this action paired with the sentiment before were not a welcome combination.

He pulled his hand away, abruptly pushing his chair back and vanishing with a snarl.

Tony blinked. “What.” He stared for a minute or two at the seat that had previously occupied his partner. “Jarvis?”

“Yes, sir?”

“What just happened?”

“Well sir, you mentioned loving Mr. Liesmith, then you went to kiss his hand, followed by him teleporting out of the tower.”

“Ah.” He stared at the chair for another minute. “Any guesses why he left?”

“Quite a few sir. Most of them correct.”

When it was obvious that this was all his AI would say on the matter, Tony stood up and collected his thoughts. “Right, well. If he decides to come back, let me know immediately. And let him know I’ll be in the kitchen.”

With that, he went to pour himself a drink.


End file.
